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One
Perfect Day
Your
life is filled with memories, but your wedding day
stands above all others.
This will be your One Perfect Day.
Frequently
Asked Questions
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Before
we get into the question and answer section, I have to
tell you a secret.
If you want to have a really, really great wedding -
relax and have fun.
I've never seen a bad wedding. But I've seen a lot of
stale weddings (most common with young couples getting
married for the first time). Don't forget that it is a
celebration, not a competition. Everybody who comes to
your wedding is there because they love you and they
want to share in the celebration.
If you have fun then your guests will have fun.
What sort of vows do you use?
Although
I have had couples write the entire ceremony, most
prefer to take my standard ceremony and make small
modifications. Click on the following link to see a copy
of my standard ceremony .
Can I sing my vows?
Can we get married on the beach?
Can we hold hands during the ceremony?
Can I include both Christian and Jewish traditions?
Yes,
yes, yes, and yes. If you can dream it, we can do it.
Every wedding is unique; and every family has special
circumstances. Some couples want to be at the center of
the ceremony, others want it to be a family affair. Some
families have special traditions or beliefs handed down
for generations, other want to start new traditions.
It's your ceremony - we will do what you want.
What if I want to do something really crazy?
There
are virtually no rules concerning the format and/or
structure of the ceremony. You can get married at a rest
stop on the Mass Pike, your pet Iguana can be your ring
bearer, you can even wear pilgrim clothes and get
married on the Mayflower. It's your ceremony - we will
do what you want.
Each officiant has a responsibility to ensure that the
bride and groom enter into the marriage under their own
free will and with sufficient thought. He/she takes
great care to ensure the solemnity of the occasion. In
the rare instance where I feel that your ceremony lacks
the necessary solemnity I will conduct a brief
"pre-ceremony" in a quiet place with the bride
and groom.
Can I write my own vows? (Do I have to speak?)
A
wedding ceremony is about you giving yourselves to each
other. That's why I encourage you to share your feelings
aloud. I will gladly help you by providing you with
samples. I will also work with you to organize your
thoughts and feelings into the perfect vows.
On the other hand, many people aren't comfortable
speaking in public. You always have the option saying,
"I DO" and nothing more. It's your ceremony -
we will do what you want.
Can my children be in the ceremony?
Of
course. There are many ways to include family members
and friends in the ceremony. Everyone can participate,
not just children. A marriage is a celebration, and most
people consider their involvement a great honor. Your
loved ones can read poetry, recite their own vows, walk
down the aisle, carry the rings, share in the candle
lighting, etc. The possibilities are unlimited. You can
even include loved ones who are unable to attend or have
passed away. At the risk of repeating myself, It's your
ceremony - we will do what you want.
Can you do a religious ceremony?
I
strongly prefer to include spiritual references in every
ceremony.
There are many people who believe in God but are not
active members of any church. I also recognize the fact
that there are many family situations that can be
avoided by having a religious wedding. For these reasons
I maintain my ordination as a non-denominational
Christian minister. This gives you and your guests the
freedom to refer to me as Reverend King if you are more
comfortable doing so. I am very familiar with Christian
ceremonies and many Jewish traditions. I would be happy
to include any other religious practices that you like.
Can you do a non-religious ceremony?
A
marriage is a spiritual union. There are 6 billion
people in the world, and you found your one perfect
match. If you don't believe that God plays a role in
your marriage then you should not include Him in your
ceremony. Rather than focus on what you don't want to
say, I suggest that focus on your own spiritual beliefs
and make sure that they are reflected in your ceremony.
Should
I have a rehearsal?
About
half of my weddings have rehearsals. They are very
helpful for large weddings, and they are generally
unnecessary for small weddings. I recommend a rehearsal
if you are planning any kind of procession (walking down
the aisle); or your ceremony includes bridesmaids,
ushers, parents, etc.
Do
I need a Justice at the rehearsal?
Yes
and no. If you have a rehearsal it is a good idea to
have everybody there, including the officiant. You will
need somebody familiar with wedding ceremonies and
customs to guide you through the process. This person
could be a JP or minister, a wedding planner, a banquet
coordinator, or your Aunt Margaret. Some JP's are quite
particular about their ceremonies and require a certain
format. Others (like me) are quite flexible.
Do you perform same-sex marriages?
For
me a loving, committed relationship in which two people
promise each other the safety and support necessary for
their mutual growth and development as persons is a
relationship that I will be happy to honor.
Can you help plan the wedding?
OK
- you've found my weakness (that, and I can't sing). I
will be happy to help you any way I can but I do not
pretend to be a wedding planner.
What do your wear?
I
wear a simple black robe over a navy suit. I will be
happy to make other arrangements (tuxedo, religious
attire, etc.) at your request.
Can we meet? Should we meet?
I
meet with about 15% of my clients, always at their
request, usually at my house at night or on a weekend.
The other 85% of the ceremonies are planned via email
which is the easiest way to communicate with me.
Realistically speaking, the only reason we need to meet
is to assure you that I look somewhat like my picture
and that I don't have a squeaky stuttering voice. This
isn't a concern for most of my clients because they were
referred to me or they attended one of my ceremonies.
There is no charge for these meetings and they usually
last about 10 minutes.
Do you perform renewal of vows?
Absolutely.
I think renewal ceremonies are just as important and
just as beautiful as any wedding.
Where can I have the ceremony?
Anywhere
you like, but there are some important rules that you
have to keep in mind.
If you get a license in Massachusetts, you are free to
have the ceremony anywhere in the Commonwealth. Other
states, such as Rhode Island, are much more particular
about the location of the ceremony. As a minister I can
and have performed ceremonies outside of Massachusetts;
however, I am morally obliged to ensure that the
ceremony is sufficiently spiritual. In other words, you
and your guests must understand that the ceremony is
being performed in the presence of God and with His
blessing.
Can you recommend a
location?
Massachusetts is filled with thousands of great places to
get married. I happen to do a lot of ceremonies at
Blissful Meadows Country Club in Uxbridge, probably because
I live close by. It is a beautiful setting and the
staff is very friendly and very professional. You will
find them at this link
http://www.blissfulmeadows.com/
I've always thought that the Martha Mary Chapel in Sudbury
is one of the prettiest locations in the state. I've
even performed ceremonies across the street at the old grist
mill.
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